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LOVE OR INFATUATION
Each one of us wants to love and to be loved in return. But how can we know if we are indeed in love or we are just infatuated? It is always been a predicament to almost all of us, if not all.
We often get confused about what is the difference between Love and Infatuation. Some may think that the two are alike; but I certainly do not agree! If we analyze it carefully, we can see the distinction between the two.
Infatuation, in dictionary, simply means an extravagant folly; while Love is describes as a deep feeling of liking or affection. From those definitions, the distinction is already apparent. But let us not be contented on what the dictionary says. It’s better for us to relate it in real life for us to understand it clearly and easily. After all, we all have the heart to feel it.
For me, infatuation is more on the physical aspect that you can see on a person. It’s visible! We pay attention only to one’s physical appearance and neglect the inside beauty. It’s totally different with Love. In love, physical looks don’t matter. We don’t even care if he looks like ‘Empoy’ or she looks like ‘Imang’. For in love, we accept and embrace the person for who and what he is without any doubt.
From my past relationships, I can say that I was only infatuated to those people. I kept on saying before that I finally found the one, but I was wrong. All of them lasted for only short periods of time; the longest was 1 year and 2 months. I also spent less time in courting her. I think only few relationships today spend much time in courting. Some may spent a week or two in courting. Nevertheless, the strength of the relationship doesn’t depend only on how long the courting stage is, it’s more than that.
Besides, long distance relationship is very usual nowadays. Some meet through text, some in chat, and some are on phone, all through the help of our growing technology. I admit I experienced all those. However, I am not saying that those commitments will just end up like what happened to me. Who knows there may be some that even leads to marriage? In love, even if we’re apart the feeling doesn’t leave the heart. It even grows deeper as long as trust is there. For a heart truly in love never looses hope but believe in the promise of love no matter how long the time or how far the distance.
Another thing is the effect of the commitment to both of your personalities. Some just go half-crazy when they’re ‘in love’. They think of their loved one time to time; and worse, they even forget to eat their meals just to text or to call their partner. It’s definitely an Infatuation! True love is not like that. Love brings out the best in us; like we can do things that we can’t do before, and our character improves not go worse. Remember the saying: Love yourself first before you love somebody.
One person may mean the world for us, or the centerpiece of our life. I remember my former girlfriend. She said to me that I was her centerpiece, and of course, she was my centerpiece before, too. We were infatuated. My attraction to her was like the attraction of earth to the sun. It was like my world revolved only to that person. I paid less attention to my family and gave no attention for some of my friends. My world was exclusively for her. I didn’t care about what was happening around me. Now I realized that love, as with infatuation, someone may become the most important person for us; but the big difference is that we include our family and friends as part of our world. We just add this wonderful person as part of us without neglecting our family and friends.
In any relationship, there are quarrels and misunderstandings. Even the married couples still fight with each other, and sometimes may lead to separation. When a misunderstanding turns into dispute, and later on kills the relationship, it’s an Infatuation. In love, the quarrels, misunderstandings, problems and the like, make the relationship stronger. They are the spices that add to the betterment of the relationship. I have read a book, I just can’t recall its title, and it says “Love lives through quarrels”.
Some says that in an intimate or romantic relationship, if the boy doesn’t get jealous he doesn’t love the girl, or vise versa. But jealousy is just a sign of insecurity! If the relationship can be easily defeated by jealousy, it’s infatuation. In love, trust is always there, because without trust there would be no love. I’m not saying don’t get jealous, because little jealousy adds color to the relationship.
Almost all infatuated relationship ends or stops the same way it starts –- fast! When we begin to doubt to our ‘love’, and quarrels, conflicts, even fights go along with it, break up eventually follows. However, the effect of infatuated relationship is not the same as it ends up. It may not end all that fast. A simple photograph can easily remind us the thoughts of that person and the memories of ours together. Maybe it takes a few weeks or months before we can get over with it. If it’s love, it takes a long time to mend the heart. Oftentimes, we still can’t forget that special person even when we are already with somebody new. It really takes a lifetime for the feeling to fade in our heart; quite close to impossible.
This is the worst thing in infatuation: the couple’s interest with each other comes and goes. We’re not sure what we’re going to feel the next day or the next month. Some infatuated people have future plans for the relationships. They even plan to get married after 2 or 3 years of being together, the number of babies they shall have and their names. It’s obvious that they are only infatuated. In real love, it becomes more and more consistent as it goes along. We are comfortable with one other; we don’t plan for the future; we just go with the flow of the relationship. We’re confident about the relationship. I remember my last girlfriend who kept on saying she wants our relationship to be like an old couple who loves each other. When the old man dies, after a few weeks or months, the old woman follows. It’s like they can’t live without each other. That’s definitely a TRUE LOVE. But what happens to us is not like that. How sad!
It’s not bad to be infatuated. It can lift us to the clouds and it can open a new world for us. This is a feeling that we should experience at least once in a lifetime before our true love comes. An infatuation can grow to love, as well as the maturity of the relationship as time goes by. But don’t forget to listen to what our heart is saying. Remember that it will only find rest in whom there is peace, joy and happiness. It is where our heart rests that destiny will plant its seed. This is where love finally grows and blossom to a beautiful forever.
After some time of thinking, I finally agree with what the quotation says about the true meaning of love. It says, “If it’s because of her eyes, lips or great body, it’s not love it’s LUST. If it’s because of her intelligence or insight about life, it’s not ADMIRATION. If it’s because she cries every time you try to leave, it’s not love it’s PITY. If it’s because she makes you forget to study and to sleep, it’s not love it’s INFATUATION. Love is when you don’t know why you are attracted to a person; LOVE has its reason, and that reason is UNKNOWN.” That’s definitely true because nobody even the best scientists nor psychologists can’t fathom the reason. It’s unexplainable!
Posted by M S T W N T D at 6:43 PM::
1 Comments::
